The Wedding Speech

All praise is due to Allah ﷻ, Lord of the worlds and May His peace and blessings be upon His final prophet and messenger, Muhammad ﷺ.

This summer, August 2015, I (The Katibah) attended a wedding celebration, which in my experience was like no other I had ever been to before. You may be wondering; what could be so different about it? It most likely was like any other Asian wedding I had been to before. The usual extravagance, the over-the-top dressed women, the inter-mingling of men and women, and each person trying to outdo the other. But no! This was different.

Yes, there was a fair share of (in my opinion) over-the-top dressed women. Nevertheless, it was fine. Why? Because there was no inter-mingling! And the best part about it? I did not have to keep my veil on! Which usually I do have to because there’s always that one person in your family who doesn’t understand the word “segregated” and yes, there was a stage. But it was nice and simple, and how could I forget to mention; the groom did not come into the hall with his friends to sit with his bride. (Before you start thinking “Wow! Really?!” He came to see her after the nikaah.)

So, how does the entirety of all this still make the wedding different? There was everyone sitting around the tables, waiting for their food. Instead of announcing, “The food is now ready to be served”, the host announced there would be a little “program” before the food is served. Unusual right?! You do not have “programmes” at weddings. It is a time to socialise and check the “eligible girls” out. A time to take pictures, show your face, and most importantly, be a critic on the food.

However, this was different and I loved it! How thoughtful of the hosts! Not only did they invite us. They gave all the guests a chance to be a part of a very special and blessed gathering, Alhumdulillah!

First, came the Qiraat (Recitation of the Qur’an) and then came the wedding speech. Subhanallah! What a wedding speech it was! Now you are probably thinking, it’s just a wedding speech! Probably had the usual embarrassing the bride a little, telling the new brother-in-law to look after her and cracking a couple of jokes.

Again, No! The brother of the bride took his time out to write a speech, which was a great reminder for the person who truly listened. This speech is what I would like to share with you today.

The wedding speech by Usama Saleh

(Student of Jamiatul-Ilm Wal-Huda, Blackburn)

إِنَّ الْحَمْدَ لِلَّهِ نَحْمَدُهُ وَنَسْتَعِينُهُ ونستغفره ونعوذ بالله من شرور أنفسنا ومن سيئات أعمالنا مَنْ يَهْدِهِ اللَّهُ فَلَا مُضِلَّ لَهُ وَمَنْ يُضْلِلْ فَلَا هَادِيَ لَهُ وَأَشْهَدُ أَنْ لَا إِلَهَ إِلَّا اللهُ وَحْدَهُ لَا شَرِيكَ لَهُ وَأَنَّ مُحَمَّدًا عَبْدُهُ وَرَسُولُهُ، أما بعد.

قال الله عز وجل،

أعوذ بالله من الشيطان الرجيم، بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

يا أيها الناس اتقوا ربكم الذي خلقكم من نفس واحدة وخلق منها زوجها وبث منهما رجالا كثيراً ونساءً، واتقوا اللهَ الذي تسآءلون به والأرحام. إن الله كان عليكم رقيبا.

 (٤:١)

وقال تعالى

أعوذ بالله من الشيطان الرجيم، بسم الله الرحمن الحيم

يا ايها الذين ءامنوا اتقوا الله حق تقاته ولا تموتن إلا وأنتم مسلمون.

(٣:١٠٢) 

وقال النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم،

النِّكَاحُ مِنْ سُنَّتِي فَمَنْ لَمْ يَعْمَلْ بِسُنَّتِي فَلَيْسَ مِنِّي

(رواه ابن ماجه)

First and foremost, all praise is due to Allah ﷻ, who has united us in this blessed gathering. It is solely out of His mercy and His will that today, we are able to feel this happiness and bliss in our hearts.

It is for this reason that the message of taqwah is instilled in the khutbah of the nikaah ceremony. The prophet ﷺ is reminding us that it is incumbent upon us that we do not forget the rights of that merciful Allah ﷻ who continues to shower upon us these times of joy and happiness. It is only through Allah’s ﷻ will that we are gathered here today in celebration. So it is only natural, that we express our happiness, in a manner pleasing to Allah ﷻ.

It is in our nature, as humans, that once we reach a certain age, both the male and female desires to spend the rest of their lives in the company of a spouse. Male in the company of a female and female in the company of a male.

The prophet ﷺ has said,

النِّكَاحُ مِنْ سُنَّتِي فَمَنْ لَمْ يَعْمَلْ بِسُنَّتِي فَلَيْسَ مِنِّي

‘Marriage is a part of my Sunnah, and whoever does not follow my sunnah is not a part of me.’

(رواه ابن ماجه)

By mentioning this, nikaah has now become worship. Subhanallah! How great, how merciful, and how just is Allah ﷻ, that by fulfilling a natural urge and necessity, if done in accordance to the Shariah, our lives can be spent in gaining reward.

Here, two things need to be taken into consideration:

  • The rights of Allah.(تقوى)
  • The rights of the spouse, the in-laws, the children and the family (حسن الخلق)

So whom do we look towards for inspiration? Whose example do we take? Who was the most god-fearing? Who had the best of character?

Allah ﷻ says,

لقد كان لكم في رسول الله أسوةٌ حسنةٌ لمن كان يرجوا اللهَ واليوم الآخِر وذكر الله كثيرا

‘Indeed, in the Messenger of Allah you have an excellent example to follow, for him who hopes for (the meeting with) Allah and the Last Day and remembers Allah much.’

(٣٣:٢١)

Hence, through His Qur’an, Allah ﷻ has instructed us we take our beloved Prophet ﷺ as an example and no one else.

The prophet ﷺ has said regarding himself,

أَمَا وَاللَّهِ إِنِّي لأَتْقَاكُمْ لِلَّهِ وَأَخْشَاكُمْ لَهُ

‘By Allah, I am the most God conscious amongst you and I fear Him most amongst you.’

 (رواه مسلم)

Allah states regarding the prophet’s ﷺ character;

وإنك لعلى خلق عظيم

And indeed, you are of a great moral character.

(٦٨:٤)

Ibn Qayyum (RA) has said,

‘The prophet had both taqwah and good character; this was because taqwah is what fixes that which is between a slave and his Lord, and good character is that which fixes what is between a person and Allah’s creation. Hence, taqwah in Allah results in His love, and good character calls people towards loving him.’

So how was the prophet ﷺ with his wives? What advice did he give in regards to a successful marriage? How did he behave with his children?

The prophet ﷺ has said, 

أكمل المؤمنين إيمانا أحسنهم خُلقا، وخياركم خياركم لنسائهم

‘The believers who show the most perfect faith are those who have the best behavior, and the best of you are those who are the best to their wives.

 (رواه ترمذي)

Hence, we learn that the believing men should be kind towards their wives and gain their love.

The manner in which the prophet ﷺ lived with his wives was of good character and cordial nature. He used to invite the young girls from the Ansaar over, so that Aishah (RA) could play with them. Whenever she wanted to do something for which there was no prohibition, the prophet ﷺ would partake with her. He ﷺ would drink from the same cup as his wife and would place his blessed mouth on the same place as his wife. The prophet ﷺ used to recite the Qur’an whilst his head was resting on her thigh and they also raced each other twice whilst on a journey.

Aishah (RA) narrates,

The Ethiopians were in the masjid playing, so he said to me, ‘Oh Humayra! Would you like to look at them?’ So, I said, ‘Yes’. So he stood by the door and he placed my chin on his shoulders and I leaned my face on his cheeks…’

(Narrated in Nasa’ee)

In the narration above the prophet ﷺ called Aishah (RA) by another name – Humayra. On another occasion he ﷺ called her Aish’. This is a very effective way of increasing the feelings of fondness and compassion between a married couple. In our times, this is known as pet names such as ‘sweetheart’ or ‘honey’ etc.

We should create an atmosphere of fun and happiness during the time of celebrations by having activities that allow the family to relax. However, we need to be bear in mind that our enjoyments are in accordance to the boundaries of Shari’ah.

The prophet ﷺ has said,

إِنَّكَ لَنْ تُنْفِقَ نَفَقَةً تَبْتَغِي بِهَا وَجْهَ اللَّهِ إِلَّا أُجِرْتَ عَلَيْهَا حَتَّى مَا تَجْعَلُ فِي فَمِ امْرَأَتِكَ

‘You will be rewarded for whatever you spend for Allah’s sake even if it were a morsel which you put in your wife’s mouth.’

 (رواه بخاري)

A believer is rewarded for feeding his wife. He is rewarded for smiling. When he walks into the house, he should walk in with a smile and he should say salaam.

We should make it an effort to pay close attention to the special traits of our spouse.

Aishah (RA) narrated that the prophet ﷺ said to her;

إِنِّي لأَعْرِفُ غَضَبَكِ وَرِضَاكِ “. قَالَتْ قُلْتُ وَكَيْفَ تَعْرِفُ ذَاكَ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ قَالَ ” إِنَّكِ إِذَا كُنْتِ رَاضِيَةً قُلْتِ بَلَى وَرَبِّ مُحَمَّدٍ. وَإِذَا كُنْتِ سَاخِطَةً قُلْتِ لاَ وَرَبِّ إِبْرَاهِيمَ “. قَالَتْ قُلْتُ أَجَلْ لَسْتُ أُهَاجِرُ إِلاَّ اسْمَكَ

“I know whether you are angry or pleased.” I said, “How do you know that, Oh Messenger of Allah ?” He said, “When you are pleased, you say, “Yes, by the Lord of Muhammad ,’ but when you are angry, you say, ‘No, by the Lord of Ibrahim!'” I said, “Yes, I do not leave, except your name.”

 (رواه بخاري)

Once both spouses are aware of each other’s specific traits, especially that which makes the other happy or unhappy – then they have, Insha Allah, established the foundation for a fruitful marriage.

These are a few points the husband must take into consideration.

As for the women, Allah ﷻ describes the righteous ones as,

فالصالحاتُ قانتاتٌ حافظاتٌ للغيب

So righteous women are devoutly obedient, guarding in [the husband’s] absence. 

(٤:٣٤)

The commentators of the Qur’an have written that here قانتاتٌ means obedient to Allah. It is possible that it can also mean obedient to their husbands, but the stronger opinion is obedient to Allah.

The prophet ﷺ states further;

إذا صلت المرأة خمسها، وصامت شهرها، وحصَّنت فرجها، وأطاعت بعلها، دخلت من أيِّ أبوب الجنة شاءت

‘If a woman observes her prayers, fasts the month of Ramadan, guards her chastity, is obedient to her husband, she will be allowed to enter Jannah through whichever door she desires.’

(صحيح الترغيب)

In this Hadith, we see the prophet ﷺ encouraging the wife to fulfill both the rights of Allah ﷻ and the rights of the people, i.e. Taqwah and Good Character.

How great is the reward for a woman who reads her salaah, keeps her fasts, protects her honour and obeys her husband. Just four things and she can enter into paradise through any door of her choice.

On another occasion, the prophet ﷺ described the best of women. He said, 

قِيلَ لِرَسُولِ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم أَىُّ النِّسَاءِ خَيْرٌ قَالَ: الَّتِي تَسُرُّهُ إِذَا نَظَرَ وَتُطِيعُهُ إِذَا أَمَرَ وَلاَ تُخَالِفُهُ فِي نَفْسِهَا وَمَالِهَا بِمَا يَكْرَهُ

“It was said to the Messenger of Allah : ‘Which woman is best?’ He said, ‘The one who makes him happy when he looks at her, obeys him when he commands her, and she does not go against his wishes with regard to herself nor her wealth.

(سنن النسائي)

In another place, he ﷺ said;

خير نساءكم الوَدود الوَلود المواتية المواسية إذا اتَّقين الله

‘The best of your women are those who are extremely affectionate, very fertile, those women who are gentle and comforting, if they fear Allah .’

(سنن البيهقي)

The wife should show her affection to her husband through her speech, her appearance, her actions and her character. She should want to have children. She should not be harsh and rigid. Rather she should be gentle and soft. She should not be arrogant. Rather she should listen. She should want to console and comfort her husband. She should stand by his side and aid him upon good.

As Khadija (RA) did with the prophet ﷺ after he received revelation for the first time. The prophet ﷺ rushed back home, his heart trembling and shivering. He ﷺ said to her;

زَمِّلُونِي زَمِّلُونِي، لقد خشيت على نفسي

Cover me! Cover me! I fear for myself.

 (رواه بخاري)

She replied,

وَاللَّهِ مَا يُخْزِيكَ اللَّهُ أَبَدًا، إِنَّكَ لَتَصِلُ الرَّحِمَ، وَتَحْمِلُ الْكَلَّ، وَتَكْسِبُ الْمَعْدُومَ، وَتَقْرِي الضَّيْفَ، وَتُعِينُ عَلَى نَوَائِبِ الْحَقِّ

By Allah, Allah will never disgrace you. You keep good relations with your kith and kin, help the poor and the destitute, serve your guests generously and assist the deserving calamity-afflicted ones.

(رواه بخاري)

Notice how in such a time of distress Khadija (RA) consoled the prophet ﷺ. She stood by his side and gave him hope. She listed his good qualities and comforted him. She did not shout at him and leave him be.

This is exactly how the wife should behave towards the husband. If one day, her husband comes home having lost his job, she should not start shouting at him and tell him that he is of no use. Instead, she should take the example of Khadija (RA) and stand by him in his time of hardship.

Going back to Hadith, it ends with إذا اتَّقين الله.

Like everything, these qualities of being affectionate, wanting children, being gentle and comforting are only beneficial if the wife fears Allah ﷻ. If she used these qualities only in search of the world, then it was to no avail. However, if she uses them in search of the pleasure of Allah ﷻ, then she will be rewarded accordingly.

Amongst the things both the husband and wife need to take into consideration is that, they must remember that not everyone is perfect. Therefore, they should overlook the mistakes made by each other. The couple should also keep in mind that disputes will occur. One must hasten in reconciling marital disputes, even if it means one compromises for the other. Otherwise, it will fester and leave an ill feeling in the heart and when this happens, it will be very difficult to rectify the situation.

Whenever the wives of the prophet ﷺ would make a mistake or do something wrong, he ﷺ would be the first to rectify things.

It is very important to know, initially, if either of the spouse finds it difficult to be with his/her partner, then before making any rash decisions, take into consideration the verse,

عسى أن تكرهوا شيأً وهو خير لكم

It may be that you dislike a thing, however, if it good for you.

 (٢:٢١٦)

My teacher, May Allah ﷻ reward him, mentioned a story regarding a person who was newly-wed. He was not comfortable with his spouse. He felt this marriage was not right for him and was considering a divorce. However, he came across the ayah mentioned above and he thought, maybe Allah ﷻ has something good for me in this. Therefore, he kept her in his marriage.

He later said regarding his marriage,

“Alhumdulillah, through the blessings of that one ayah which I put my trust in, Allah ﷻ gave me Ulama’ and Huffaz as children from this woman and made her beloved to me.”

Therefore, we should always be happy with whatever decisions Allah ﷻ makes in regards to us.

I would like to finish now with the key to a happy marriage, full of love and affection.

Allah ﷻ says in the Quran,

إن الذين ءامنوا وعملوا الصالحت سيجعل لهم الرحمن ودا

Verily, those who believe and do good deeds, Allah will place love amongst them.

 (١٩:٩٦)

It is not we, who have the ability to control the emotions of the heart. It is all under the control of Allah ﷻ. If we please him, and fulfill the rights he holds over us, then he will keep us pleased. It was on this very foundation of Imaan and good deeds that Allah united the warring tribes of Aws and Khazrah from Madinah Munawwarah to form the Ansaar as we know of them today.

Allah says,

لو أنفقت ما في الأرض جميعا ما ألفت بين قلوبهم، ولكن اللهَ ألف بينهم

If you spent all the contents of the earth, you would not have been able to unite them, however, it was Allah that united them.

(٨:٦٣)

Due to their faith, Allah ﷻ solved whatever problems the people had and united them. He ﷻ gave them a newfound hope and pleasure in their daily lives. If Allah ﷻ united the hearts of people who had hatred and enmity between them, He ﷻ can most definitely unite the hearts of the husband and wife.

All praise is due to Allah ﷻ at the beginning and at the end.

May you be rewarded for visiting my page and May we all benefit. Ameen.

The Katibah.

Keep it Halaal and simple!

image

Keep it Halaal and simple! The relationship and the celebrations.

The Katibah.

Imam Ahmad Ibn Hanbal’s Marriage Advice

All praise is due to Allah swt, the lord of the worlds and may His peace and blessings be upon His final prophet and messenger, Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wasallam.

Assalamu’alaykum.w.w.

I came across this a while back and thought i should post it as it is still wedding season. It is advice for the brothers, however i don’t think it would hurt anyone if the sisters were to show the male members of the family. Please remember this is advice only and many recieve advice but only the wise benefit from it.  :).

Imam Ahmad ibn Hanbal’s advice to his son on his wedding day:

Dear son, you will not attain good fortune in your home except by 10 characteristics which you show to your wife, so remember them and be enthusiastic in acting upon them.

As for the first two; women like attention and they like to be told clearly that they are loved. So don’t be stingy in expressing your love for your wife. If you become limited in expressing your love, you will create a barrier of harshness between you and her, and there will be a decrease in affection.

3, Ladies hate a strict, overcautious man, yet they seek to use the soft vulnerable one. So use each quality appropriately. This will be more appealing for love and it will bring you peace of mind.

4. Ladies like from their husbands what their husbands like from them, i.e. kind words, good looks, clean clothes and a pleasant odour. Therefore, always remain in that state.

5, Indeed, the house is under the sovereignty of the woman. While she remains therein, she feels that she is sitting upon her throne, and that she is the chief of the house . Stay clear of destroying this kingdom of hers and do not ever attempt to dethrone her, otherwise you will be trying to snatch her sovereignty. A king gets most angry at he who tries to strip him of his authority, even if he portrays to show something else.

6. A woman wants to love her husband, but at the same time she does not want to lose her family. So do not put yourself and her family in the same scale, because then her choice will be down to either you or her family. And even if she does choose you over her family, she will remain in anxiety, which will then turn into hatred towards you in your daily life.

7. Surely woman has been created from a curved rib, and this is the secret of her beauty, and the secret of the attraction towards her. And this is no defect in her, because ‘the eyebrows look beautiful due to them being curved’. So if she errs, do not rebuke her in a manner in which there is no gentleness, attempting to straighten her; otherwise you will simply break her and her breaking, is her divorce. At the same time do not let her off upon that mistake, otherwise her crookedness will increase and she will become arrogant with her ego. Thereafter, she will never soften for you and she won’t listen to you, so stay in between the two.

8. It is in the women’s nature to be ungrateful towards their husbands and to deny favours. If you were to be nice to her for her whole life but you grieved her once, she will say, “I have never seen any good from you”. So don’t let this attitude of her make you dislike her or to run away from her. If you dislike this feature of hers, you will be pleased with some other good habits within her, so create a balance.

9. Surely there are times when a woman goes through some conditions of bodily weakness and fatigue of the mind. Such that Allah has relieved her of some of her compulsory worships during that period; Allah has totally pardoned her from praying, and has postponed the days of fasting for her within this break to a later date until she regains her health and becomes normal in her temperament once more. Thus, during these days, treat her in a godly manner. Just as Allah has relieved her of the duties, you should also lessen your demands and instructions from her during those days.

10. Last but not least, know that a woman is like a captive with you. Therefore, have mercy upon her.

All praise is due to Allah swt at the beginning and at the end.

May you be rewarded for visiting my page and may we all benefit. Ameen.

The Katibah.

Simplicity at it’s best!

All praise is due to Allah swt, the lord of the worlds and may His peace and blessings be upon His final prophet and messenger, Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم.

As it’s wedding season,  I thought I’d post something wedding related.  Story told and lessons  derived  by Moulana Saleem Dhorat (May Allah swt accept him).

Faatimah (Radhiallaahu Anha) is the youngest daughter of our beloved Prophet (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam). Out of all the children, she was the most beloved to him. He صلى الله عليه و سلم said, ‘The Queen of the ladies in Jannat is Faatimah.’ He صلى الله عليه و سلم also said, ‘Faatimah is part of my body. Whoever grieves her, grieves me.’

When Faatimah (Radhiallaahu Anha) reached the age of fifteen, proposals for her marriage began to come from high and responsible families. But the Prophet صلى الله عليه و سلم remained irresponsive.

Ali (Radhiallaahu Anhu), who was 21 at the time, says: It occurred to me that I should go and make a formal proposal, but then I thought, ‘How could this be accomplished, for I possess nothing.’ At last, encouraged by the Prophet صلى الله عليه و سلم’s kindness, I went to him and expressed my intention to marry Faatimah (Radhiyallaahu Anha). The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم was extremely pleased and asked, ‘Ali! Do you possess anything to give her in Mahr?’ I replied, ‘Apart from a horse and armour I possess nothing.’

The Prophet صلى الله عليه و سلم said, ‘A soldier must, of course, have his horse. Go and sell away your armour.’

So, Ali (Radhiallaahu Anhu) went and sold his armour to Uthmaan bin Affaan (Radhiallaahu Anhu) for 480 Dirham and presented it to Rasulullah صلى الله عليه و سلم.

Bilaal (Radhiallaahu Anhu) was ordered by the Prophet صلى الله عليه و سلم to bring some perfume and a few other things and Anas (Radhiallaahu Anhu) was sent to call Abu Bakr, Uthmaan, Talhah, Zubayr with some companions from the Ansaar (Radhiallaahu Anhum).

When these men arrived and had taken their seats, the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم recited the Khutbah (sermon) of Nikaah and gave Faatimah (Radhiallaahu Anha) in marriage to Ali (Radhiallaahu Anhu). He announced, ‘Bear you all witness that I have given my daughter Faatimah in marriage to Ali for 400 Mithqaal of silver and Ali has accepted.’ He then raised his head and made Dua saying, ‘O Allah, create love and harmony between these two. Bless them and bestow upon them good children.’ After the Nikaah, dates were distributed.

When the time came for Faatimah (Radhiallaahu Anha) to go to Ali’s (Radhiallaahu Anhu) house, she was sent without any clamour, hue and cry, accompanied by Umm Ayman (Radhiallaahu Anhu). After the Isha Salaah, the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم went to their house, took permission and entered. He asked for a basin of water, put his blessed hands into it and sprinkled it on both Ali (Radhiallaahu Anhu) and Faatimah (Radhiallaahu Anha) and made Dua for them.

The sovereign of both worlds صلى الله عليه وسلم gave his beloved daughter a silver bracelet, two Yemeni sheets, four mattresses, one blanket, one pillow, one cup, one hand-grinding mill, one bedstead, a small water skin and a leather pitcher.

In this simple fashion, the wedding of the daughter of the leader of the worlds was solemnised. In following this Sunnah method, a wedding becomes very simple and easy to fulfill.

SOME METHODS DERIVED FROM THE ABOVE MENTIONED MARRIAGE;

1. The many customs as regards engagement are contrary to the Sunnah. In fact, many are against the Shariah and are regarded sins. A verbal proposal and answer is sufficient.

2. To unnecessarily delay Nikah of both the boy and the girl after having reached the age of marriage is incorrect.

3. There is nothing wrong in inviting one’s close associates for the occasion of Nikah. However, no special pains should be taken in gathering the people from far off places.

4. It is appropriate that the bridegroom be a few years older than the bride.

5. If the father of the girl is an Aalim or pious and capable of performing Nikah, then he should himself solemnise the marriage.

6. It is better to give the Mahr Faatimi and one should endeavour to do so. But if one does not have the means then there is nothing wrong in giving less.

7. It is totally un-Islamic for those, who do not possess the means, to incur debts in order to have grandiose weddings.

8. It is fallacy to think that one’s respect will be lost if one does not hold an extravagant wedding and invite many people. What is our respect compared to that of Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam)?

9. The present day practice of the intermingling of sexes is an act of sin and totally against Shariah.

10. There is nothing such as engagement parties and Medhi parties in Islam.

11. Great care must be taken as regards to Salaat on occasions of marriage by all – the bride, the bridegroom and all the participants.

12. It is un-Islamic to display the bride on stage.

13. The unnecessary expenses incurred by the bride’s family in holding a feast has no basis in Shariah.

14. For the engaged couple to meet at a public gathering where the boy holds the girl’s hand and slips a ring on her finger is a violation of the Qur’anic law of Hijaab.

15. It is un-Islamic for the engaged couple to meet each other and also go out together.

16. Three things should be borne in mind when giving one’s daughter gifts and presents at the time of Nikah:

o Presents should be given within one’s means (it is not permissible to take loans, on interest for such presents);

o To give necessary items;

o A show should not be made of whatever is given.

17. It is Sunnat for the bridegroom’s family to make Walimah.

Note: In Walimah, whatever is easily available should be fed to the people and care should be taken that the is no extravagance, show and that no debts are incurred in the process.

18. To delay Nikah after the engagement is un-Islamic.

SOME CUSTOMS
In aping Western methods sheepishly, Muslims have adopted many customs which are un-Islamic and frowned upon.

Some examples are:

* Displaying the bride on stage;

* Inviting guests for the wedding from far off places;

* Receiving guests in the hall;

* The bride’s people incurring unnecessary expenses by holding a feast which has no basis in Shariah. We should remember that Walimah is the feast arranged by the bridegroom after the marriage is consummated.

* It is contrary to Sunnah (and the practice of some non-Muslim tribes in India) to wish, hope for or demand presents and gifts for the bridegroom, from the bride’s people. We should always remember that our Nabi (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) did not give Ali (Radhiallaahu Anhu) anything except Dua.

Moulana M. Saleem Dhorat

All praise is to Allah swt at the beginning and at the end.

May you be rewarded for visiting my page and may we all benefit. Ameen.

The Katibah.

June 2017
M T W T F S S
« May    
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
2627282930  

Blog Stats

  • 10,229 hits

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 97 other followers