Loving the messenger of Allah ﷺ

All praise is due to Allah ﷻ, Lord of the worlds and May His peace and blessings be upon His final prophet and messenger, Muhammad ﷺ.

Sayyidina Anas (rd) narrates that Rasulullah ﷺ said, “He who loves my Sunnah truly loves me, and the one who loves me will be with me in paradise.” – Sirat, Vol 1, pg. 426

If today someone were to ask us if we love Rasulullah ﷺ, our spontaneous answer will be yes. However, have we once pondered over what truly loving Rasulullah ﷺ means? Is it simply reading about his life’s work? Or learning about his inner character and mannerism? Was every aspect of Rasulullah ﷺ’s life documented and made accessible to us through the ahaadeeth just so that we can skim through it as we do a magazine?

No! Through the companions, Allah ﷻ granted us with the ability to learn about Rasulullah ﷺ so that we may learn to develop that love and grow it. Adherence to the Sunnah is a symbol of true love for Rasulullah ﷺ. Those who claim to be lovers of Rasulullah ﷺ, but do not adhere to the Sunnah are untrue to their claim. A true lover is generally aware of the circumstances and conditions of his beloved and wishes to be like him.

Of course, this does not mean that in learning to follow the Sunnah of Rasulullah ﷺ, we will become exactly like the companions (rd). There is much difference between the companions (rd) and us. The privilege they had was because they were able to do what we could not.

However, Rasulullah ﷺ’s way of life has been made accessible to us through many means so that we can cultivate the type of love that Abu Bakr (rd) had for Rasulullah ﷺ.

After the conquest of Makkah, Abu Bakr (rd) took his father Abu Quhafa (rd) to Rasulullah ﷺ to accept Islam. Abu Bakr (rd) told Rasulullah ﷺ upon entering the tent, “Oh Rasulullah ﷺ, this is my father, he has come to accept Islaam”. Rasulullah ﷺ replied, “Oh Abu Bakr! If you had informed us that it was your father, we would have come to you”. But Abu Bakr (rd) replied, “Oh Rasulullah ﷺ! It is not befitting that you come to any one let alone my father”.

Thereafter Abu Bakr (rd) placed his father’s hand into Rasulullah ﷺ’s hand to accept Islaam and began crying. Rasulullah ﷺ realised that Abu Bakr (rd) was crying out of sorrow. He asked, “Oh Abu Bakr! What makes you cry? You should be over joyed that your father is accepting Islaam!! Abu Bakr (rd) replied, “Oh Rasulullah ﷺ! Your uncle, Abu Talib, has come to my mind and I swear by Allah ﷻ, the only reason why I am crying is that I would rather have Abu Talib accepting Islam on your hands than my father because I know you will become happier by that. Allah ﷻ will give you a sense of contentment being happy because your uncle strived so much for you but was deprived of Imaan. If he had accepted Islaam, you would’ve been overjoyed by that and so I am crying that if only Allah ﷻ had in place of my father’s Imaan, your uncle would’ve accepted Islam in his place.”

That is the level of affection the companions (rd) had for Rasulullah ﷺ. So much love that they would rather someone closer to Rasulullah ﷺ accept Islaam than their own kin. They would rather their own kin enter the hell-fire in place. Subhanallah! It is so unimaginable that we cannot even put it into prospective.

Allah ﷻ mentions in Surah Ale Imran,

“Say, [O Muhammad], If you love Allah ﷻ, follow me; Allah ﷻ will love you and forgive for you your sins and Allah ﷻ is most forgiving, most merciful.” – 3.31

Hence, we learn from the verse that it is essential for a believer to love Rasulullah ﷺ because gaining the pleasure of Allah ﷻ and loving Rasulullah ﷺ are inseparable.

Then again in Surah Tawbah, Allah ﷻ says,

Say, [O Muhammad ﷺ], “If your fathers, your sons, your brothers, your wives, your relatives, wealth which you have obtained, commerce wherein you fear decline, and dwellings with which you are pleased, are more beloved to you than Allah ﷻ and His Messenger ﷺ and striving in His cause, then wait until Allah ﷻ executes His command. And Allah ﷻ does not guide the defiantly disobedient people.” -9.24

Looking at verse, we see that Allah ﷻ mentions every subject that a human heart develops love for and then Allah ﷻ says if these things become more beloved to the human heart then we should “wait until Allah ﷻ executes His command”. Many commentators of the Qur’aan say that this refers to Allah ﷻ’s punishment and this can come in many forms of which one is the loss of something we love.

There are certain things that we have natural love for, like our children and there are certain things that we develop love for, like our businesses. However, if the love of these things become greater than the love of Allah ﷻ, His messenger ﷺ and striving in His path, then we should wait for the punishment of Allah ﷻ.

The question arises, when should we wait for the punishment to come? In answer to this, we must first understand the levels of Imaan.

The first is the lesser degree of Imaan in which you have love for something which conflicts with the love of Allah ﷻ and His messenger ﷺ. However, the minute that this begins to effect the rights of Allah ﷻ and His messenger ﷺ, then the punishment of Allah ﷻ which He mentions in His Qur’aan should be expected.

The second degree is the higher level of Imaan in which you aspire to develop your love for Allah ﷻ and His messenger ﷺ to such an extent that it supersedes all the things that the human has no control over loving and it supersedes the thing that the human can grow love for in his heart as well.

The affections that are naturally embedded in the heart, are worked on so much that eventually the love of Allah ﷻ and His messenger ﷺ begin to succeed over everything else.

As mentioned by Rasulullah ﷺ in a hadeeth,

“None of you will have faith until he loves me more than his father, his children and all of mankind.” – Bukhari

This greater love for Allah ﷻ and His messenger ﷺ is not possible without studying the life of Rasulullah ﷺ. If we strive to learn about Rasulullah ﷺ, we will learn that Allah ﷻ moulded him in such perfection that we will fall in love with him and if a study of his ﷺ’s life does not change us, then we should bear in mind that the imperfection is on our part and not his ﷺ.

All praises are due to Allah ﷻ at the beginning and at the end.

May you be rewarded for visiting my page and May we all benefit. Ameen.

The Katibah.

Resources used:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4TfGRnKgQzw

https://quran.com/

The Khulasa by Shaikh Muhammad Adb al-Hayy al-Kattani

The sublime conduct of Nabi ﷺ by Mufti Muhammad Irshad Ahmed Qasimi

The sealed Nectar by Saifur-Rahman Al-Mubarakpuri

Seeratul Mustafa ﷺ by Hadhrat Moulana Muhammad Idres Kaandhewi saahib

 

 

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When the shooting star passed by…

All praise is due to Allah swt, Lord of the worlds and May His peace and blessings be upon His final prophet and Messenger, Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wasallam.

A curtain moved and the prophet ﷺ looked through.

Satisfaction smiled on his face and he went away.

Little time passed by,
An angel knocked on the door.
Permission was enquired “Peace be upon you! May I take your soul?”
The reply came “What of my people? Go ask my Lord!”
An oath was made and his soul was taken away…

Stillness fell…

Deafening silence was heard.

Despite the sun, anguish rained.

Darkness clouded the mind.

Thunder struck at the heart and emptiness was claimed.

The tunnel was blocked and no light came through.

A source of guidance was taken away!

Anger reared its head, but fear reigned above all.

Sadness filled the air.

Sorrow seeped through and grief walled in.

Mourning in shock, no tear fell.

Then prayer time came and wailing teared the companions apart.

Souls crushed…

Senses lost…

Tortured, yet their conviction persevered.

Years passed and times changed,
But to Muhammad’s memory, faithfulness they attained.

Mesmerised in the stories they told,
But emotional at how it unfold.

Tears flowed and misery attacked.

Though heartache was sustained,
In their thoughts, his promise remained.
You will (surely) be with those whom you love. (Aw kama qaal ﷺ)

SALLALLAHU ALAYHI WASALLAM

All praise is due to Allah swt at the beginning and at the end.

May you be rewarded for visiting my page and May we all benefit. Ameen

The Katibah.

The bliss of Paradise 

It was said: Describe to me the bliss of paradise. He said: There in resides the Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam. ❤

Lost Sunnah Series- Ramadhan2016

All praise is due to Allah swt, Lord of the worlds and May His peace and blessings be upon His final prophet and messenger, Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wasallam. 

Subhanallah! How time has flown. Ramadhan is already departing. It feels like it only came yesterday. I pray we have all tried to at least fulfil some of its rights and Allah swt accepts its from all of us. Ameen. 

I also pray you have benefitted from the #LostSunnah series by DesignsbyMercy as much as I have, Insha Allah. Whoever they are, May Allah swt accept from them, give them barakah in this life and in the hereafter and May their sharing the Sunnah be a sign of acceptance in the sight of Allah swt. 

I have Alhumdulillah, compiled the whole series into one post for easy access/use.

Also, a gentle reminder that Ramadhan maybe over for this year but being a Muslim is not. The Sunnah of Rasulullah sallallahu alyhi wasallam are not just for Ramadhan, they are for life. 

Practice upon them and the Qur’aan and we shall Insha Allah never go astray. 

All praise is due to Allah swt at the beginning and at the end. 

May you be rewarded for visiting and May we all benefit. Ameen. 

The Katibah. 

Building a Connection

All praise is due to Allah ﷻ, Lord of the worlds and May His peace and blessings be upon His final prophet and messenger, Muhammad ﷺ.

Once in Madinah during the time of Rasulullah ﷺ, a companion, Aws bin Samit (rd) became displeased with his wife, Khowla bint Tha’labah (rd) and gave her a talaaq-e-zihaar. This was a type of divorce which was issued in the time of ignorance. The husband would say “You are to me like the back of my mother”. These words likened his relationship with his wife to his relationship with his mother and made his wife forbidden to him forever. Even after marrying another man, the wife would not be able to ever remarry her first husband again.

Khowla bint Tha’labah (rd) was an old woman and no longer at an age to remarry. Any person can imagine how distressed she must have felt and as was the habit of the companions, she ran to Rasulullah ﷺ with her problem.

Rasulullah ﷺ was residing at Aishah’s (rd) house at the time. Khowla (rd) came and said; “Oh Rasulullah ﷺ! My husband has given me a talaaq-e-zihaar. What do you command”?

Until this time, Rasulullah ﷺ had not received any revelation related to the matter and so he said; “Oh Khowla! You have become forbidden for him”. This was the ruling according to the customs of the time.

Upon hearing this reply, Khowla (rd) pleaded; “Oh Rasulullah ﷺ! He spent my wealth, exhausted my youth and my womb bore abundantly for him. When I became old and unable to bear children, he pronounced zihaar on me. Where shall I go and how will my children do their living?”

But once again Rasulullah ﷺ replied; “Oh Khowla! You have become forbidden for him.” She pleaded again; “Oh Rasulullah ﷺ! Please review your answer”. But Rasulullah ﷺ realised that Khowla (rd) was not going to listen so he bowed his head and did not reply.

Khowla (rd) saw this and so she said; “Oh Rasulullah ﷺ! I will complain directly to your lord”! She raised her hands to the heavens and she spoke quietly to Allah ﷻ; “Oh Allah! I bring my complaint directly to you. I have small children. I do not have the strength or money to feed them. Nor can I rely on their father as he has also become old. Oh Allah! Send a decision in my favour on your prophet’s tongue”. Suddenly the signs of revelation being revealed were noted on Rasulullah ﷺ and once he was relieved, he smiled; “Oh Khowla! Allah has revealed in regards to you and your husband.

Allah ﷻ revealed;

Indeed Allah has heard the talk of the woman who was debating with you concerning her husband and was complaining to Allah. And Allah was hearing the conversation between you both. Verily, Allah is All-Hearing, All-Seeing.

(Surah Mujadalah, verse 1)

Subhanallah! The connection that Khowla (rd) had with Allah ﷻ speaks directly to my soul. Just try to imagine yourself in the presence of Rasulullah ﷺ. How fortunate would that person be! No person would even think of asking anyone else for confirmation of what was said. Yet here was Khowla (rd). She was a woman and she was old. But her connection with Allah ﷻ was so strong that when she realised that Rasulullah ﷺ was not going to listen to her, she turned to Allah ﷺ. Not because she did not believe in Rasulullah ﷺ. But because she knew that Allah ﷻ answered the prayer of the person in distress.

In Surah Ghafir, Allah ﷻ says;

And your Lord says, “Call upon Me; I will respond to you.”

But when will Allah ﷻ respond?

He will “respond” when you believe in Him. When your conviction in Him is so strong that be it in a time of need or not, you know that Allah ﷻ is there for you. When you believe without a doubt, that He is forever present.

Take a look at Khowla (rd). What did she do that made her so special, that Allah ﷻ revealed the Qur’aan to Rasulullah ﷺ in response to her call. The only thing that she did was ask Allah ﷻ to reveal a ruling in her favour with conviction in her heart.

Khowla (rd) spoke to Allah ﷻ. She prolonged her call. She beautified her speech like she was talking to her lover. She did not just simply say “Oh Allah! Give me this!” She knew that Allah ﷻ knew. But she was pleading her case in the court of Allah ﷻ and in response, Allah ﷻ revealed the Qur’aan. How truly amazing is that! Khowla (rd) made one plea to Allah ﷻ. Just one plea!

In a narration, Aishah (rd) says; “Pure is He, whose hearing encompasses all things. I heard what Khowla bint Tha’labah said about her husband while some of it I could not hear despite being so close to her in the same room, but Allah ﷻ heard her all her conversation and said; “Indeed, Allah has heard…”

Subhanallah! Allah ﷻ is All-Hearing, All-seeing. Allah ﷻ truly is the one who hears your plea, who hears your cry for help. He really is the only one who will not break your heart. When you call Him lovingly, when you call to Him in distress, when you talk to Him like there is no one else that you love more than Him, He will answer your call. And if you feel that Allah ﷻ has not answered your call, don’t feel disheartened. Just think that Allah ﷻ wants you to talk to Him for longer. Don’t demand from Allah ﷻ. He is not the one who is in need of us. Talk to Him! Plead with Him. Beg Him. Cry to Allah ﷻ. Plant your seed of hope in your prayers and see the miracles that grow in your life!

The key point to this lesson is we have to build a connection with Allah ﷻ if we want him to respond to our call and there is no better time to do this than in the month of Ramadhaan.

In a hadeeth, Rasulullah ﷺ says;

“When Ramadhaan begins, the gates of Paradise are opened, and the gates of Hell are closed, and the devils are chained up.”

(al-Bukhaari, 3277; Muslim, 1079)

Here is a golden opportunity. We have to take advantage of it. We have to build a connection with Allah ﷻ today. We cannot wait for tomorrow. Who has been promised the next minute, let alone tomorrow? We cannot wait around for next Ramadhaan. Who knows whether we will even see next Ramadhaan? There is only about a week left of Ramadhaan. How many of us can say that we have truly connected with Allah ﷻ in this month? How many of us can say that without a doubt we will not turn back to our old ways because our connection with Allah ﷻ is stronger than before?

Build a connection with Allah ﷻ before it’s too late. No one needs to know how you’re building your connection. That is between you and Allah ﷻ. All you need to remember is that it does not have to be something great. Start small. Give charity. Recite the Qur’aan more often. Stand up for the night pray. Anything. Just as long as you are doing something.

I know that this is easier said than done. We face obstacles in our path in the form of our own wishes and desires. We all have our ups and downs. But that’s ok. That’s life. We’re bound to have a bumpy ride. But as long as we are trying to connect with Allah ﷻ, we will Insha Allah be getting somewhere.

A wise person once said;

“The path to Allah ﷻ is long. It is not important that you reach the end. What is important is that you are on this path when you die.”

All praise is due to Allah ﷻ at the beginning and at the end.

May you be rewarded for visiting and May we all benefit. Ameen.

The Katibah.

Resources used:

Ma’riful Quran
Tafseer Ibn Katheer

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The Katibah.

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Ramadhan2016 Lost Sunnah1

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The Wedding Speech

All praise is due to Allah ﷻ, Lord of the worlds and May His peace and blessings be upon His final prophet and messenger, Muhammad ﷺ.

This summer, August 2015, I (The Katibah) attended a wedding celebration, which in my experience was like no other I had ever been to before. You may be wondering; what could be so different about it? It most likely was like any other Asian wedding I had been to before. The usual extravagance, the over-the-top dressed women, the inter-mingling of men and women, and each person trying to outdo the other. But no! This was different.

Yes, there was a fair share of (in my opinion) over-the-top dressed women. Nevertheless, it was fine. Why? Because there was no inter-mingling! And the best part about it? I did not have to keep my veil on! Which usually I do have to because there’s always that one person in your family who doesn’t understand the word “segregated” and yes, there was a stage. But it was nice and simple, and how could I forget to mention; the groom did not come into the hall with his friends to sit with his bride. (Before you start thinking “Wow! Really?!” He came to see her after the nikaah.)

So, how does the entirety of all this still make the wedding different? There was everyone sitting around the tables, waiting for their food. Instead of announcing, “The food is now ready to be served”, the host announced there would be a little “program” before the food is served. Unusual right?! You do not have “programmes” at weddings. It is a time to socialise and check the “eligible girls” out. A time to take pictures, show your face, and most importantly, be a critic on the food.

However, this was different and I loved it! How thoughtful of the hosts! Not only did they invite us. They gave all the guests a chance to be a part of a very special and blessed gathering, Alhumdulillah!

First, came the Qiraat (Recitation of the Qur’an) and then came the wedding speech. Subhanallah! What a wedding speech it was! Now you are probably thinking, it’s just a wedding speech! Probably had the usual embarrassing the bride a little, telling the new brother-in-law to look after her and cracking a couple of jokes.

Again, No! The brother of the bride took his time out to write a speech, which was a great reminder for the person who truly listened. This speech is what I would like to share with you today.

The wedding speech by Usama Saleh

(Student of Jamiatul-Ilm Wal-Huda, Blackburn)

إِنَّ الْحَمْدَ لِلَّهِ نَحْمَدُهُ وَنَسْتَعِينُهُ ونستغفره ونعوذ بالله من شرور أنفسنا ومن سيئات أعمالنا مَنْ يَهْدِهِ اللَّهُ فَلَا مُضِلَّ لَهُ وَمَنْ يُضْلِلْ فَلَا هَادِيَ لَهُ وَأَشْهَدُ أَنْ لَا إِلَهَ إِلَّا اللهُ وَحْدَهُ لَا شَرِيكَ لَهُ وَأَنَّ مُحَمَّدًا عَبْدُهُ وَرَسُولُهُ، أما بعد.

قال الله عز وجل،

أعوذ بالله من الشيطان الرجيم، بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

يا أيها الناس اتقوا ربكم الذي خلقكم من نفس واحدة وخلق منها زوجها وبث منهما رجالا كثيراً ونساءً، واتقوا اللهَ الذي تسآءلون به والأرحام. إن الله كان عليكم رقيبا.

 (٤:١)

وقال تعالى

أعوذ بالله من الشيطان الرجيم، بسم الله الرحمن الحيم

يا ايها الذين ءامنوا اتقوا الله حق تقاته ولا تموتن إلا وأنتم مسلمون.

(٣:١٠٢) 

وقال النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم،

النِّكَاحُ مِنْ سُنَّتِي فَمَنْ لَمْ يَعْمَلْ بِسُنَّتِي فَلَيْسَ مِنِّي

(رواه ابن ماجه)

First and foremost, all praise is due to Allah ﷻ, who has united us in this blessed gathering. It is solely out of His mercy and His will that today, we are able to feel this happiness and bliss in our hearts.

It is for this reason that the message of taqwah is instilled in the khutbah of the nikaah ceremony. The prophet ﷺ is reminding us that it is incumbent upon us that we do not forget the rights of that merciful Allah ﷻ who continues to shower upon us these times of joy and happiness. It is only through Allah’s ﷻ will that we are gathered here today in celebration. So it is only natural, that we express our happiness, in a manner pleasing to Allah ﷻ.

It is in our nature, as humans, that once we reach a certain age, both the male and female desires to spend the rest of their lives in the company of a spouse. Male in the company of a female and female in the company of a male.

The prophet ﷺ has said,

النِّكَاحُ مِنْ سُنَّتِي فَمَنْ لَمْ يَعْمَلْ بِسُنَّتِي فَلَيْسَ مِنِّي

‘Marriage is a part of my Sunnah, and whoever does not follow my sunnah is not a part of me.’

(رواه ابن ماجه)

By mentioning this, nikaah has now become worship. Subhanallah! How great, how merciful, and how just is Allah ﷻ, that by fulfilling a natural urge and necessity, if done in accordance to the Shariah, our lives can be spent in gaining reward.

Here, two things need to be taken into consideration:

  • The rights of Allah.(تقوى)
  • The rights of the spouse, the in-laws, the children and the family (حسن الخلق)

So whom do we look towards for inspiration? Whose example do we take? Who was the most god-fearing? Who had the best of character?

Allah ﷻ says,

لقد كان لكم في رسول الله أسوةٌ حسنةٌ لمن كان يرجوا اللهَ واليوم الآخِر وذكر الله كثيرا

‘Indeed, in the Messenger of Allah you have an excellent example to follow, for him who hopes for (the meeting with) Allah and the Last Day and remembers Allah much.’

(٣٣:٢١)

Hence, through His Qur’an, Allah ﷻ has instructed us we take our beloved Prophet ﷺ as an example and no one else.

The prophet ﷺ has said regarding himself,

أَمَا وَاللَّهِ إِنِّي لأَتْقَاكُمْ لِلَّهِ وَأَخْشَاكُمْ لَهُ

‘By Allah, I am the most God conscious amongst you and I fear Him most amongst you.’

 (رواه مسلم)

Allah states regarding the prophet’s ﷺ character;

وإنك لعلى خلق عظيم

And indeed, you are of a great moral character.

(٦٨:٤)

Ibn Qayyum (RA) has said,

‘The prophet had both taqwah and good character; this was because taqwah is what fixes that which is between a slave and his Lord, and good character is that which fixes what is between a person and Allah’s creation. Hence, taqwah in Allah results in His love, and good character calls people towards loving him.’

So how was the prophet ﷺ with his wives? What advice did he give in regards to a successful marriage? How did he behave with his children?

The prophet ﷺ has said, 

أكمل المؤمنين إيمانا أحسنهم خُلقا، وخياركم خياركم لنسائهم

‘The believers who show the most perfect faith are those who have the best behavior, and the best of you are those who are the best to their wives.

 (رواه ترمذي)

Hence, we learn that the believing men should be kind towards their wives and gain their love.

The manner in which the prophet ﷺ lived with his wives was of good character and cordial nature. He used to invite the young girls from the Ansaar over, so that Aishah (RA) could play with them. Whenever she wanted to do something for which there was no prohibition, the prophet ﷺ would partake with her. He ﷺ would drink from the same cup as his wife and would place his blessed mouth on the same place as his wife. The prophet ﷺ used to recite the Qur’an whilst his head was resting on her thigh and they also raced each other twice whilst on a journey.

Aishah (RA) narrates,

The Ethiopians were in the masjid playing, so he said to me, ‘Oh Humayra! Would you like to look at them?’ So, I said, ‘Yes’. So he stood by the door and he placed my chin on his shoulders and I leaned my face on his cheeks…’

(Narrated in Nasa’ee)

In the narration above the prophet ﷺ called Aishah (RA) by another name – Humayra. On another occasion he ﷺ called her Aish’. This is a very effective way of increasing the feelings of fondness and compassion between a married couple. In our times, this is known as pet names such as ‘sweetheart’ or ‘honey’ etc.

We should create an atmosphere of fun and happiness during the time of celebrations by having activities that allow the family to relax. However, we need to be bear in mind that our enjoyments are in accordance to the boundaries of Shari’ah.

The prophet ﷺ has said,

إِنَّكَ لَنْ تُنْفِقَ نَفَقَةً تَبْتَغِي بِهَا وَجْهَ اللَّهِ إِلَّا أُجِرْتَ عَلَيْهَا حَتَّى مَا تَجْعَلُ فِي فَمِ امْرَأَتِكَ

‘You will be rewarded for whatever you spend for Allah’s sake even if it were a morsel which you put in your wife’s mouth.’

 (رواه بخاري)

A believer is rewarded for feeding his wife. He is rewarded for smiling. When he walks into the house, he should walk in with a smile and he should say salaam.

We should make it an effort to pay close attention to the special traits of our spouse.

Aishah (RA) narrated that the prophet ﷺ said to her;

إِنِّي لأَعْرِفُ غَضَبَكِ وَرِضَاكِ “. قَالَتْ قُلْتُ وَكَيْفَ تَعْرِفُ ذَاكَ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ قَالَ ” إِنَّكِ إِذَا كُنْتِ رَاضِيَةً قُلْتِ بَلَى وَرَبِّ مُحَمَّدٍ. وَإِذَا كُنْتِ سَاخِطَةً قُلْتِ لاَ وَرَبِّ إِبْرَاهِيمَ “. قَالَتْ قُلْتُ أَجَلْ لَسْتُ أُهَاجِرُ إِلاَّ اسْمَكَ

“I know whether you are angry or pleased.” I said, “How do you know that, Oh Messenger of Allah ?” He said, “When you are pleased, you say, “Yes, by the Lord of Muhammad ,’ but when you are angry, you say, ‘No, by the Lord of Ibrahim!'” I said, “Yes, I do not leave, except your name.”

 (رواه بخاري)

Once both spouses are aware of each other’s specific traits, especially that which makes the other happy or unhappy – then they have, Insha Allah, established the foundation for a fruitful marriage.

These are a few points the husband must take into consideration.

As for the women, Allah ﷻ describes the righteous ones as,

فالصالحاتُ قانتاتٌ حافظاتٌ للغيب

So righteous women are devoutly obedient, guarding in [the husband’s] absence. 

(٤:٣٤)

The commentators of the Qur’an have written that here قانتاتٌ means obedient to Allah. It is possible that it can also mean obedient to their husbands, but the stronger opinion is obedient to Allah.

The prophet ﷺ states further;

إذا صلت المرأة خمسها، وصامت شهرها، وحصَّنت فرجها، وأطاعت بعلها، دخلت من أيِّ أبوب الجنة شاءت

‘If a woman observes her prayers, fasts the month of Ramadan, guards her chastity, is obedient to her husband, she will be allowed to enter Jannah through whichever door she desires.’

(صحيح الترغيب)

In this Hadith, we see the prophet ﷺ encouraging the wife to fulfill both the rights of Allah ﷻ and the rights of the people, i.e. Taqwah and Good Character.

How great is the reward for a woman who reads her salaah, keeps her fasts, protects her honour and obeys her husband. Just four things and she can enter into paradise through any door of her choice.

On another occasion, the prophet ﷺ described the best of women. He said, 

قِيلَ لِرَسُولِ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم أَىُّ النِّسَاءِ خَيْرٌ قَالَ: الَّتِي تَسُرُّهُ إِذَا نَظَرَ وَتُطِيعُهُ إِذَا أَمَرَ وَلاَ تُخَالِفُهُ فِي نَفْسِهَا وَمَالِهَا بِمَا يَكْرَهُ

“It was said to the Messenger of Allah : ‘Which woman is best?’ He said, ‘The one who makes him happy when he looks at her, obeys him when he commands her, and she does not go against his wishes with regard to herself nor her wealth.

(سنن النسائي)

In another place, he ﷺ said;

خير نساءكم الوَدود الوَلود المواتية المواسية إذا اتَّقين الله

‘The best of your women are those who are extremely affectionate, very fertile, those women who are gentle and comforting, if they fear Allah .’

(سنن البيهقي)

The wife should show her affection to her husband through her speech, her appearance, her actions and her character. She should want to have children. She should not be harsh and rigid. Rather she should be gentle and soft. She should not be arrogant. Rather she should listen. She should want to console and comfort her husband. She should stand by his side and aid him upon good.

As Khadija (RA) did with the prophet ﷺ after he received revelation for the first time. The prophet ﷺ rushed back home, his heart trembling and shivering. He ﷺ said to her;

زَمِّلُونِي زَمِّلُونِي، لقد خشيت على نفسي

Cover me! Cover me! I fear for myself.

 (رواه بخاري)

She replied,

وَاللَّهِ مَا يُخْزِيكَ اللَّهُ أَبَدًا، إِنَّكَ لَتَصِلُ الرَّحِمَ، وَتَحْمِلُ الْكَلَّ، وَتَكْسِبُ الْمَعْدُومَ، وَتَقْرِي الضَّيْفَ، وَتُعِينُ عَلَى نَوَائِبِ الْحَقِّ

By Allah, Allah will never disgrace you. You keep good relations with your kith and kin, help the poor and the destitute, serve your guests generously and assist the deserving calamity-afflicted ones.

(رواه بخاري)

Notice how in such a time of distress Khadija (RA) consoled the prophet ﷺ. She stood by his side and gave him hope. She listed his good qualities and comforted him. She did not shout at him and leave him be.

This is exactly how the wife should behave towards the husband. If one day, her husband comes home having lost his job, she should not start shouting at him and tell him that he is of no use. Instead, she should take the example of Khadija (RA) and stand by him in his time of hardship.

Going back to Hadith, it ends with إذا اتَّقين الله.

Like everything, these qualities of being affectionate, wanting children, being gentle and comforting are only beneficial if the wife fears Allah ﷻ. If she used these qualities only in search of the world, then it was to no avail. However, if she uses them in search of the pleasure of Allah ﷻ, then she will be rewarded accordingly.

Amongst the things both the husband and wife need to take into consideration is that, they must remember that not everyone is perfect. Therefore, they should overlook the mistakes made by each other. The couple should also keep in mind that disputes will occur. One must hasten in reconciling marital disputes, even if it means one compromises for the other. Otherwise, it will fester and leave an ill feeling in the heart and when this happens, it will be very difficult to rectify the situation.

Whenever the wives of the prophet ﷺ would make a mistake or do something wrong, he ﷺ would be the first to rectify things.

It is very important to know, initially, if either of the spouse finds it difficult to be with his/her partner, then before making any rash decisions, take into consideration the verse,

عسى أن تكرهوا شيأً وهو خير لكم

It may be that you dislike a thing, however, if it good for you.

 (٢:٢١٦)

My teacher, May Allah ﷻ reward him, mentioned a story regarding a person who was newly-wed. He was not comfortable with his spouse. He felt this marriage was not right for him and was considering a divorce. However, he came across the ayah mentioned above and he thought, maybe Allah ﷻ has something good for me in this. Therefore, he kept her in his marriage.

He later said regarding his marriage,

“Alhumdulillah, through the blessings of that one ayah which I put my trust in, Allah ﷻ gave me Ulama’ and Huffaz as children from this woman and made her beloved to me.”

Therefore, we should always be happy with whatever decisions Allah ﷻ makes in regards to us.

I would like to finish now with the key to a happy marriage, full of love and affection.

Allah ﷻ says in the Quran,

إن الذين ءامنوا وعملوا الصالحت سيجعل لهم الرحمن ودا

Verily, those who believe and do good deeds, Allah will place love amongst them.

 (١٩:٩٦)

It is not we, who have the ability to control the emotions of the heart. It is all under the control of Allah ﷻ. If we please him, and fulfill the rights he holds over us, then he will keep us pleased. It was on this very foundation of Imaan and good deeds that Allah united the warring tribes of Aws and Khazrah from Madinah Munawwarah to form the Ansaar as we know of them today.

Allah says,

لو أنفقت ما في الأرض جميعا ما ألفت بين قلوبهم، ولكن اللهَ ألف بينهم

If you spent all the contents of the earth, you would not have been able to unite them, however, it was Allah that united them.

(٨:٦٣)

Due to their faith, Allah ﷻ solved whatever problems the people had and united them. He ﷻ gave them a newfound hope and pleasure in their daily lives. If Allah ﷻ united the hearts of people who had hatred and enmity between them, He ﷻ can most definitely unite the hearts of the husband and wife.

All praise is due to Allah ﷻ at the beginning and at the end.

May you be rewarded for visiting my page and May we all benefit. Ameen.

The Katibah.

image

The people of the past encouraged the sunnah and the people of the present discourage the sunnah. Then they wonder why their prayers are not accepted. :/

The Katibah.

image

Yet again you reap what you sow!

It greatly saddens me to post this. 😦

Allah the almighty says in the glorious quraan:

“And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honour.” [17:23]

Subhanallah! How beautifully Allah swt honours the parents.  He puts them straight after His worship! Yet how easily we dishonour them. They reach old age and we send them in to care homes.

Then carrying on from the Quraanic verse above, Allah the almighty says: “And lower unto them the wing of submission and humility through mercy, and say: “My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was small.” [17:23]

We ask Allah swt to show them mercy as they did us, yet we ourselves who they bought up, we show no mercy to them!

How unfortunate we are! How unfortunate we are! 😦

The Katibah.

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